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The Art of Recklessness Chapter 16

Title: The Art of Recklessness Chapter 16
Genre: Angst (lots of angst), Drama, Romance
Author: Undertheblu
Pairings: JaeHo, JaeChun, JaeSlut
Rating: R
Length: Chaptered
Warnings: Language, Sex, Character Death, Abuse
Summary: Yunho and Yoochun’s father remarried and now their welcoming his new wife and their new step-brother into their home. Suddenly having a new sibling is never easy, especially having to live with such a messed up brat like Jaejoong. Neither can stand his rebellious nature but neither can they resist his intoxicating character. As their relationships with Jaejoong develop, they come to realize why he behaves the way he does. With their new family members they also inherit the family secrets.

 “Fuck both of you,” Jaejoong mumbled, slumped in the back seat of the car, eyes glazed over.
“Don’t talk to your mother like that.”
 “Don’t talk to me.”
He wanted to go to sleep and never wake up. He wanted to close is eyes and never have to deal with anything ever again. Soon enough. He thought with a smirk. “That’s not funny” anyone’s voice said in his head. He let his head fall back against the seat, pills, I’ll take my pills when I get home, that’ll make it all go away. That’ll make everything quiet. That make you happy, Mom? What if I just took as many as I could? Maybe I could sleep for days maybe months. It’d be so quiet. What if I took them all at once? No, no need to do that again. You’re going to die soon enough. Soon enough it’ll all be over. Don’t make it harder on them.

They’d given up trying to talk to him once he’d stopped responding. Good. They’ve taken enough for one day. As soon as the car came to a stop, Jaejoong was outside and walking away. He went through the door, walked through the rooms, walked past the people, get upstairs and sleep. That was all that mattered.
  Both Yunho and Yoochun looked after Jaejoong as he walked past them, then turned their heads to Mya for some sort of answer.
 “It was a hard session for him,” Mya said, removing her coat, “for all of us. Every time we have that conversation..”
“Is he okay?” Yoochun asked.
 “That’s a stupid question,” Yunho huffed, “when is he ever okay?”
“Shut up,” Yoochun frowned at his brother, “I’m just asking.”
 “Well it’s stupid,” Yunho turned and followed Jaejoong up the stairs. Yunho trudged down the hall, expecting to see Jae in the bathroom but he was actually in his own room for once, face down on the bed.

 “Leave me alone, Yunho.” Jaejoong sighed, face muffled in the cloth. Yunho walked in and sat on the bed next to the other.
 “Do you want to talk-“
“Obviously hiding away to be alone is an invitation to be sociable to you..I just want to sleep, Yunho.”
  “Since when do you just want to sleep? Huh?”
“I don’t want to do this right now,” Jaejoong answered softly, rolling away on the bed. Yunho frowned, sighing lightly he reached over and touched Jaejoong’s shoulder. There was no fat left on him and he was losing the muscle in his body, sometimes it was hard to believe that this little frame could contain such a big personality. Everyday Yunho saw less and less of that personality.
  “You, uh, got Junsu pretty good. His face still doesn’t look right.” Yunho said, trying to make the conversation light. He knew Jaejoong didn’t like they pity that was always surrounding him, “He’s been bitching about it ever since.”

  Yunho smiled at that, “Let’s go do something, Jae.”
 Jaejoong rolled onto his back and shook his head, “No, Yunho.”
“Come on, let’s get something to eat or something.”
  “Why are you always trying to feed me?” Jaejoong narrowed his eyes with a smirk, “Do you think I’m losing too much weight? Is this not attractive anymore? You don’t like the ribs?” Jaejoong lifted up his shirt to laugh down at his chest, “I don’t know..I’ve still got some fat left.”
 Yunho liked that Jaejoong was joking again, it was nice to see, “Oh yeah, you’re disgusting.”
 Jaejoong threw a small kick at Yunho who grabbed his leg to stop any impact. They both started laughing as Jae tried to kick with the other leg, “Let go!”

  “Don’t kick!” Yunho laughed as he pulled Jaejoong closer by his ankles so that he could get better control. It was so nice to see Jaejoong’s smile and to see him laugh, to look so full of life. Even though every day Yunho watched as Jaejoong got weaker and less like himself, Yunho just couldn’t imagine seeing that flame go out. And on that thought Yunho felt an overwhelming desire to grab ahold of that life that Jaejoong was so full of. He leaned forward and without thinking about it, took Jaejoong’s lips with his own. It was obvious he had jumped Jaejoong, but there was no fight from the other so Yunho continued, avoiding any negative thoughts about this moment. He just wanted to be with Jaejoong and let him have what he wanted while he could still give it to him.
    Yunho tried to be delicate, afraid of hurting Jaejoong’s frail limbs. “You’re not going to break me,” Jae smiled, lifting his head to kiss Yunho’s pink lips.
Yunho nodded, suddenly aware of how little body weight he let rest against Jae, “I know, I just, I’m used to girls.”
 Jaejoong smiled, pulling the other closer, “I know. Just do what feels right, okay?"

Jaejoong rubbed his face against the pillow, loving the after-sex endorphins. He had needed this, the therapy session had had him feeling so empty. He needed a reminder that he actually was alive, and Yunho gave him that.
“So what?” Yunho replied, pulling on his pants.
 Jaejoong frowned, “You know what. Are you okay? Was it-“
 “Jae, calm down, I was joking. Jeez, first time you can’t spot a joke.” Yunho leaned back on the bed to put his face next to Jae’s, “I’m okay. It was different from what I’m used to, but I’m okay.”
 “Girls don’t do it like that, huh?” Jaejoong grinned, leaning his cheek against his hand.
Yunho chuckled and shook his head, “No. Not the ones I’ve been with.”

 “They sound boring,” Jaejoong answered, sliding off of the bed to find his clothes, “but everyone’s boring compared to me, aren’t they?”
He started coughing as he searched for his shirt, wincing at pains in his stomach. Once the endorphins were gone all that was left was the constant pain. He gave up looking for the shirt and just lay back down onto the bed, “I do need to sleep, you know. I wasn’t just saying that to get you out of here.”
 “And see how well that worked? Did you want-“
“Still no.” Jaejoong shook his head, “It’s not your business.”
 “Why are you okay with talking to Yoochun but not me?” Yunho asked, frowning as he pulled on his dark t-shirt.
Jaejoong rolled his eyes, “Jesus, not everything is about you. What’s with the competitiveness?”
 “Because I don’t like being the trade off.”
“Why does it always go there with you?” Jaejoong sat up on the bed, crossing his legs under him, “Don’t you get it? It doesn’t matter! None of it matters! I’m fucking dying! I don’t care which one of you gets to feel superior!”
 “Goddamnit stop hiding behind that! Just because you’re sick doesn’t mean you can treat people like shit.” Yunho yelled, hating that everything always had to end like this with them. As Yunho stormed out of the room with only one sock on his foot, Jaejoong leaned back in the bed feeling a mixture of guilt and relief. It was wrong to pull them in the way he did, but he couldn’t help it. He couldn’t help attracting people, he couldn’t help the way they got attached. It never ended well for anyone.

A/N: As usual I apologize for the long wait. Hope everyone’s doing well and I hope you enjoyed the Yunjae.


( 9 comments — Leave a comment )
May. 3rd, 2013 02:48 am (UTC)
wanna cry
thanks for the up date,this chapter is..a little bit short but I'm happy because you're still writing,keep writing..
I'm sad because JJ is dying...and he is not happy with everything....he hurts himself and YH..,everyone ..
please up date soon
May. 3rd, 2013 05:36 am (UTC)
Where were youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
And OMG Just kill me once god damn it. Don't drown me in this sea of angst again and again :(
May. 3rd, 2013 11:19 am (UTC)
I know, I’m sorry.
May. 3rd, 2013 06:22 am (UTC)
i dont know how many times i said this but poor jaejoong..he is so stubborn n all..uuu..n he is hurting himself and the others too..TT TT
May. 3rd, 2013 09:05 am (UTC)
The way Jaejoong is going about doing things is wrong.
It feels like Jaejoong care alot about certain people like his Mum and Yunho.
However, he is afraid to let them near him because he is dying and he doesn't want them to suffer.
May. 3rd, 2013 12:40 pm (UTC)
So thankful to you for the update, even though it pulls up a strange sense of elation and dread everytime I see one, as there's only one way this can go.

But it was no small relief to see Yunjae finally. Yunho is a good older brother in a situation like this.

Though he's going to fall hard in the end.

Again, thanks for continuing this.
May. 3rd, 2013 06:04 pm (UTC)
Though I'm happy with these YunJae moments, I can't help thinking that I'll get teary in the following chapters...
May. 3rd, 2013 06:28 pm (UTC)
I’m glad you liked the Yunjae, but yes, I’m afraid the darkness is getting close.
May. 25th, 2013 04:40 am (UTC)
Someone need to tell aejoong that he's ugly. The fact that he's dying or raped when he was a child is nobody's fault.
( 9 comments — Leave a comment )